November's Stillness.

Oh, November, you’ve been so sweetly still. I left October with a heart stoned with the misery of faithlessness in my life path. You have rekindled it with so much graceful aliveness, enthusiasm and love after all what had proved otherwise.

My most treasured lesson this November was to be rooted in my center of control, abiding by the littlest baby steps I can take to make a difference. I learned much more about myself, and it’s vastly evident that I cannot live without a purpose and a clear mission to serve. My heart and whole body instantly wilt when it seems that there is nothing to work hard for and serve in this lifetime. And that is exactly what had happened to me when I took too much time to investigate what is causing all this ruckus in children’s minds and dispositions. I felt like I was helpless and powerless in the face of all these variables and externalities.

It took vulnerability and a time of painstaking uncertainty to truly surrender my efforts and let go of my ego, which wanted to feel like it was doing something important. I stopped thinking about what was going wrong and used my intuition in almost every interaction with those children. Instantly, creativity, heartful cooperation and magic beamed with magnificence. Just a few days of truly working heart-to-heart with my learners, consciously responding to timely feedback and focusing on what my heart knew manifested so much ethereal knowledge. I was even attracted to books written by Rudolf Steiner, whose philosophy adheres to mine perfectly well. It’s like meeting myself in history.

One thing which had also defined November was elegance. I approached my work with meticulous artfulness and consciousness, as much as possible. Instead of figuring out what strategies to use, I depended on visualising my lessons deeply, imitating my learners and figuring out the best ways to scaffold their learning in enticing, captivating ways. I was blessed with support from my wonderful assistant (or co-teacher) and we together harmonised whatever we could.

I witnessed miracles this month with my learners. I can’t even begin to express how profound they were, leaving me shattered in so much humbleness and annihilation. I took the weirdest detours to heal what has prevented them from being open to me in the classroom, and we are only beginning. I must say that it is something completely different when children open up their hearts with trust and intimacy to a teacher and let all their guards down to be changed and embraced by beauty in the world. I have never felt more empowered— and again, God has given me the children who are extremely difficult just to learn that they could all be loved unconditionally, no matter how scarred they are.

I have also seen my dearest companion grow into his daylight dreams, and that has created a miraculous shift within me too, and it has propelled me to reflect deeply upon my place in the world. All I see is that we need people who care. Caring can save lives, simply put. And it’s not only the act of caring, but the intention to care authentically in all things we are involved in.

In the end, it has been a month filled with shifts towards awakened states of being— and now December comes to revere the journey more than where it gets us to.