a daylight dream

April is going now, a quarter of the year going too. A part of me wants to hold on to the beauty of April, for there are some cherished sights that are indispensable and irreplaceable. The silk floss trees in their emerald tresses, a perfect home for the blackbirds’ afternoon songs. Mulberries, with all their simplicity, showering the roads with berries so freely. There were occasions of amiable clouds that bestowed upon the world such gentleness and ease. Those are moments not to come again, for sure. They leave my heart with aches and solemn appreciation. I think April was significant. I have cumulated so many lessons, so many changes, so many uncomfortable moments when I had to just face the truth and deal with it. The emergence of those moments was followed by so much liberation. You see, it’s relatively the very first time I live through difficult moments in non-judgment. The arrival of Ramadan would bring so much pain, comparing the state of my family with all the other examples ...

Insecurity is a vast word, but it is exactly what defines the landscape of my fears. In truth, the essence of everything I am afraid of, everything which makes me jump compulsively or daydream vacantly is always insecurity . I caught it by the roots this evening. I caught this tightness in my chest and swiftly drifted to my mind, and what it was that I was thinking was the notion of feeling so insecure within my own self. Inadequacy, insufficiency and imperfection were voices so feeble yet intentional, and they twist a cobweb of fear into everything I do without clearing it up.   It's beautiful how imperfection doesn't exist and is only an illusion. The truth is that everything is perfect. Even the most catastrophic events are perfect consequences of choices we make, and in that sense, nothing really goes wrong in life. Loss, illness and powerlessness are surely devastating, but they are perfect manifestations of the learnings we need to go through in our lifetime. I feel so wo...

It's been a restful couple of days since the beginning of Ramadan. Not without adventures of course, since I burned my face swimming in the afternoon sun and lost track of time, walking in the hot air for more than three hours. Also, I fell a little ill with a cold, and summer colds take me by surprise. Every time I think I'm going to wake up fine, I find a flood in my nose. Those days don't sound exactly restful, but they were, oh they were. I allowed myself time to be those few days. I had things on my to-do list and private tutoring sessions but they weren't rushed. I had at least two hours for myself where I would sit down on the sofa and just read, or unwind, close my eyes for a while and wait for a poem to entice me (it never came). I must say having such an experience is profound for me, since it was hard to just sit still and be with myself. It reminds me of the quarantine, when I had so much empty time and it drove me insane. It was hard to lay down on the sofa...

I've been quite inconsistent lately when it comes to blogging. I am not less passionate about it, quite contrarily, I have been giving this space so much thought, trying to figure out open doors of growth. I want to express how much this space means a lot to me, and words fail when I try to describe how much documenting my life over the past five years has shaped me considerably, giving me the chance to dream and be those dreams, with every step in this never-ending journey. I believe this blog has a future, a thrilling one, actually. I pray and believe that in not so long, I'll be documenting concrete happenings of my day that contribute to a world where one can live holistically, in reverence, in love and most importantly, making a difference. You know that I have so many dreams, right? Dreams of living in a conscious manner; not consuming much of Earth's resources without giving back, living in harmony with nature and taking inspired action to leave an impact in creative...

Oh March, you are a gift placed so gracefully on my palms. No matter how much I reflect, words would fail to capture the truest essence of what you were here to teach me— perhaps that is why it took me so long to write this down. I didn’t quite know the whereabouts of a beautiful starting point, but I’ll just do it anyway. My intention was to give. Give with abundance, grace and unconditional love. Give with everything that I have within me, humble my spirit so much in order to connect with the deepest needs of the ones around me. Everyday was a manifestation of that, and it took me to places I never thought were possible. Interactions with my learners were astoundingly fruitful for we worked together to heal deep conflicts in the classroom, connecting to our highest selves with constant reminders and effective communication. I connected to parents and collaborated with them to help their children get past difficulties at school, that had little to with academics. Leveraging the level ...