Summer Intentions.

As I’m writing this, I’m quite uncertain of how my summer would be like, and I can’t get myself to imagine it in fear of getting too carried away by the blissful times and ignoring the downsides. Still, I wouldn’t like to drift off those months and have decided to set some intentions— not expectations. Just gentle affirmations to seize opportunities as they unravel.

I must say that in summer, it’s usually lovely to feel at home. I like entering my mother’s apartment and feel laughter greeting me from every corner, it’s just so simply alive. At home, I feel appreciated for the little things, like waking up early to prepare coffee for my parents and it does feel graciously alleviating. Therefore, I’m intending to feel it all deeply and cherish those genuine moments spent at home, with my family, in silence or with the background of my sister acting quite insane.

An idea that came up to me was to actually make some money this summer as well as gain experience and step out of my comfort zone through giving English lessons. I’m not sure whether it will work out or not— I’m not expecting anything. I’m quite afraid, to be honest, but this fear is thrilling, and I can recognise how much I’ve changed to embrace fear rather than stray away from it. I might make mistakes, but there will be so much to learn from them. I’m doing my best to prepare the content these days so that the lessons turn out to be fun and effective, I dearly hope that I would be granted this opportunity.

You probably know that I’ve had issues with the way I express love to others; I usually distance myself in a questionable manner. However, I’ve worked on it this year, to open up my heart more, to reinforce acceptance and safety everyday. I have that subtle intention to be more loving and warm with everyone around me this summer, especially my sister. I’d love to give her hugs and those amazing tiny kisses like she does, and snuggle with her before we sleep without feeling this magnetic force repel me away. I visualise it vividly and I hope I get to progress, to fully accept how healing love can be. Yet, I’m sure I won’t be loving all the time so I’d like to learn to demand some distance, too, which is inexorable because I don’t like to hurt others’ feelings so confrontationally. It’s a beautiful journey to embark.

I have so many other intentions that I have embedded in my mind, in a form of a daylight dream, to make them come true. It is time to embrace the adventures and risks, to face fears and gain confidence. Should any challenges appear, I’m sure I’ll be able to face them responsibly. I learned that there are so many things people can do to actually remain stable and peaceful through it all.

May it be a beautiful, calm summer for all of you. It’s a season to reap the fruits of spring, and we can all sit back and relax in contemplation, acknowledging efforts and making dreams of next seasons with all their winds and colours. :)