twenty-four lessons.

leaving my twenty-fourth year behind, here are twenty-four lessons I have learned. some were easy to learn: wistfully passing by a conscious heart. others were terribly painful and recurring. gratitude coats both experiences in reverent contemplation and equanimity. :)

-1- 

in most evolutionary steps we take in our lives, it is essential that we have a guide or a mentor. inspiration is beautiful and it may lead us daringly; however, guidance is a confirmation. it is important to have someone that we rely on, someone wise, knowledgeable, caring and loving who would take our hand and point us to where we need to go. depending on our minds solely does not always leave us whole.

-2-

follow a path of ease, but make sure it still is a mountain. when we overexert ourselves with so much stress willingly, it does not build our resilience, it makes us tired, exhausted and unable to move towards ideals we truly believe in. making a path challenging and beyond our comfort zone is a choice that involves embracing change and newness. that doesn’t mean we mindlessly add things to our schedule just to be busy. we choose paths that we know are going to allow us to learn what we need.

-3-

peace is more important than joy. finding joy in a situation is often temporary, for life is meant to challenge us. there will be one challenge after the other, which will inevitably limit our joy. but, peace is accepting the challenges, peace is choosing to see the wisdom in what hurts, what is lost and what cannot be. making peace allows us to rise higher than seeing things mentally, it is a soulful practice that gives us the gift of equanimity. we cannot always change everything, we cannot always change ourselves. finding peace is not having to resist or even think about situations beyond ourselves; often leading us to solutions that make us evolve.

-4-

go with the flow. life is intelligent, wise and creative beyond anyone. wherever life takes you or takes away from you, listen. God knows exactly what you need. controlling, resisting and manipulating circumstances does not often lead anywhere. trust that whatever God puts you in your way is just right.

-5-

the ordinary is beautiful. simple experiemces are filled with magic when they’re embraced. looking out for drama, overachievement and shiny trophies takes our eyes off the rewards of paying attention to everything you live for. :)

-6-

relationships are all about understanding. understanding people’s intentions, their motives, their feelings. and to do that, we communicate regularly and check in. it takes some work and some difficult times, but most problems melt away with a gentle gaze and a smile.

-7-

show your strengths in humbleness. to play this socially-constructed game right, we need to show our strengths. we need to shine, whether in relationships or in our careers. we need to have our best selves in sight and portray behaviours that are healthy, genuine and inspiring. but, each night and with each prayer, we return to humbleness. we return to knowing it was only God’s guidance. we return to knowing we did not do this alone. we break our pride inside.

-8-

love and marriage are two complementary things but they are not one and the same. we can surely love people’s weaknesses, their brokenness and what makes them vulnerable. but marriage is a social construct with harsh rules that are often hard to break without being completely independent. to have it work out, we need to play the game right and know its rules.

-9-

our phones are much better with less content. less apps. less time. less utilities. life out there gifts us with many more tools which have stories and are woven with more love. the less we depend on our phones, the more we interact with imperfection. we become kinder and better listeners out of simple things taking more time, thought and effort. :)

-10-

say what you would like yourself to hear. people, even when wrong, don’t need us to be critical despite needing it. the softest, gentlest language is often magical. and when it’s not, it’s just not the time.

-11-

clothes and outward appearance make a difference and determine what impact you leave. choose the colour and style that resonate with who you truly are.

-12-

we don’t need to eat all the time. we’ve been educated to eat three or five times a day when in reality, most of us don’t need that much. science and even religion prove that we would be better off with one meal and eat only when really hungry. the lightness and energy that comes with this are remarkable.

-13-

ask why. ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing all the time. it is rather astonishing that we stick to things for the wrong reasons or for no reason at all. meaning makes life so much richer.

-14-

difficult things are only ones you did not make peace with. there is no such thing as hardship. all experiences are beautiful gifts. if you only question that, we would find that we could find peace and an accepting warmth in all experiences.

-15-

eventually, confrontations will happen. whatever you're holding back from someone, especially hurt and resentment, there will be a day you will unleash them. one day, we will be ready for it and we won't be scared about it anymore.

-16-

loving our parents is one of the most important journeys we will experience. at a point in our adult lives, we will need to come to terms with the trauma we experienced in our families and love our parents for the hurt, the pain and see the wisdom in all of it. there's no other way but through.

-17-

nature hides God’s mercy. whenever you need to remember kindness, be in nature. a cloudy sky would do. :)

-18-

there is no reason in true love. we don't need to search for one, it simply is. but there is a strong reason for everything else it builds.

-19-

pray. make duaa'. break yourself before God and know that your will, your methods and your action do not amount to anything before His power.

-20-

going outdoors fixes most problems. whenever in stress, just get outside in the fresh air. 

-21-

we must do our part. whether it's enough or it isn't, there will always be something we can do and we must do it.

-22-

the signs do not lie. if you ask God for a sign and it portrays itself before your eyes, it is real and it does mean something. you might lie to yourself and go for it anyway, know that you are responsible for the consequences that might arise. 

-23-

we are actually more stressed than we think we are. relaxation rituals are necessary. we don't really notice it because it is so embedded, but we are constantly stimulated. having time to stay down, alone or in simple relaxation is a must for the world we live in.

-24-

we don’t need to see life through our wounds all the time. there is a better future out there. beautiful things will happen. it doesn't all have to be traumatic, depressing and worrying for the rest of your life.