waiting for the gift.

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 لا حول و لا قوة إلا بالله يا حبيبي..

I often ask myself what it is I’m waiting for. why is that I’m waiting when the day I could see this truth could be anytime I decide. it often appears as if it’s all in my hands.


but my soul feels the sweetness of the wait. the timeless patience is savoured drop by drop. this body knows the dryness of nature when it’s under this mind’s control. this soul is waiting for the gift to orchestrate it all.


the gift of His clarity, His will, His absolute loving glory as it becomes into being. sun-like, beaming being.


this soul waits, drowning in the rivers of love. it knows the ripples are there, and that they’ll meet one day and it never amounts to the force of my swim. the foreordained has its own reverent time, its own sacred space. it only can be touched when received with soft-spoken grace.


and this season taught me that no matter how much we shift this torque towards doing, the more helpless we’ll be. 


my hand in yours— sacredness determines that not one doing intervenes in the unravelling of this heart of ours. 


so I wait, love. I wait. 


going with grace in an inscrutable world.

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