for you, for love.

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Sometimes I forget and get lost in the maze leading me up to endless skies. In between the doing, surrender is sweet, it is overwhelmingly relentless, often addictive, that one feels that something is wrong if a peek to the ground is forsaken.

In those days, I forget what I’m here for. I forget the purpose of the strife. It all becomes quite confusing to understand— how did I get here? How was all this enabled into happening so swiftly?


It’s where I’m at. I look at the long list of commitments surrender has carried me towards so gently. I am even sure that they could be kissed into existence with ease, but with humanness, I often panic at the brink of each evening wondering how it could happen. I then feel really afraid. I want to escape.


I wonder, too, dear one, how I got myself surrendering my fears of togetherness. The shame that runs down the vines of my lifeline, all the fragile notions to be undone, all the big stones to be lifted in ease. Now that I look in hindsight, that was a tremendous lifting. I’m not sure how it was done. How did one transform towards this graceful unfolding?


It’s you. It’s love.


You know, my dearest one, the nothingness that pervades when I lose the dream. All dissipates. I become lifelessly heartless as I gaze into the sun. I was almost trying to reclaim it all, grappling with the intention, until this dream arrived to our shore. Oh, something to dream for. Something to change for. Something to heal for. 


What I long for— the dream— the love.

going with grace in an inscrutable world.

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