Sometimes.

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Sometimes I pretend the sound of the ticking clocks in my bedroom before I sleep, is the pattering of raindrops on my window sill, so I could fall asleep. So I could visualise you in my mind, with your endearing smile, with our fickle hope and vast dreams.

Sometimes I pretend the sticks and stones people throw at me are jokes so that I could laugh, without turning bitter. So that I could smile as if I am taking a step closer to who I truly want to be, to the things I’d like to accomplish.

Sometimes I believe the way the blanket touches my skin on a December night is the way you hold my arms close to your chest, keeping me warm, allowing me to close my eyes in a comfort indistinguishable that it sets my lips to twist effortlessly, like being in a realm of wonder and heavenly happenings.

Sometimes I imagine my past as a picture to burn, or a story to empower, or both. Sometimes I like it as the tears sting the corner of my eyes, or allow a pride to swell in my chest and I’m not sure which I like more or which I assume to have greater benefit. I realise in the end, they lead to one another.

Sometimes I pretend that this life is not real. That this life is only a simulation to test my soulful presence, trigger the onset of my faults and mistakes, to see how I deal with them. I pretend that the whole world is taking place before my eyes, and I’m existing in a universe parallel to it, giving myself plenty of time to reflect, analyse and decide: how to react?

I’ve learnt that mostly everyone isn’t brave enough to reach out for happiness. They miss out on the thrill of the courage to let go of the shackles of the limitations of what’s external, when so much happens through pretend, inner beliefs and imagination.

Sometimes I wish I could admit that this is the way I should continue living, to rest the dissonance and perplexity of my path. Yet, as long as my mind continues to find beauty in the patterns and simple happenings, I’m fine.

I’ll pretend my thoughts are just flowers sprouting, in need for air and water. In need of the comfort found in love, satisfaction and peace.

May the world be my provider.

Comments

  1. Hazem29/12/2017, 00:25

    in love with your mind, blooming such otherworldly thoughts :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thrivingone29/12/2017, 06:40

      That made my morning. :)
      And if you consider it otherworldly, then it is a product of your unearthly perception.

      Delete

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