One Year.

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The end of September is approaching, and it had been a beautiful, calm and productive month, compared to last year. Last September's confusion, stillness and torpidity didn't suit me. It didn't suit my dreams nor my purpose but I took those baby steps towards the change I am experiencing this year.

It's been one year since I created this blog and it's one of the best decision I've ever made. 2.6k views is a young number, but it's a start. This blog is my outlet, my instrument of discovery that I am proud to publish to everyone. It makes me happy to see people reading my posts and relating to them profoundly, through my experiences. I know I might touch on subjects and feeling that are too peculiar to relate to, but that's the point. Everything on here is inscrutably phrased. It's mysterious. An outlet that is crude and cognition-lacking. A description of things just as they cross my mind, and I don't have to interpret whether they are right or wrong, they are a happening I took notice of. I know by time, I'll find a niche to stick to, and I'll stick to this blog for myself and others, to help and to spread awareness of how it is to be a human.

It's also been one year since I wore my hijab. I'm not going to mention any religious tendencies here but, I just have to slightly touch on it. I have to acknowledge that step I took towards freedom of society's beauty standards. A step towards God, towards clarity of spirit and happiness. When I wear my veil every single day, I'm happy with how I look, because it's almost exactly the picture I have in mind; a picture of who I really am and what I have faith in. I'm far from excelling the real attire yet I'm so convinced of it. I'm glad I took that step despite the circumstances in my life that are not strong enough to support it; my family's objections and views and their wavering acceptance. My travel this summer didn't support it either but here I am, holding on to what I believe despite anyone else's opinion.

It's been one year since I took some steps towards mental healing, and I'm gaining some of the fruits now (though not all of them). I went through a lot of break downs and tears, but it's all worth it. My mind still tells me that it's confused of where I'm going but my heart is sure, and I can feel it. Still, I'm perplexed of my insecurities that haunt me to this day, but it takes time. It takes years.

Perhaps next September, I'll have more secrets to reveal.

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