Enrapturing Highlights of 2021.

-


Another year passes by, significantly phenomenal, fulminating with heart-shattering perspectives and epiphanies that changed my world in all sense. As I write this, I am lighter in body and spirit, deep in veneration and gratitude for all the beauty that 2021’s days had left me with.

Forsooth, it is time to marvel and engrain what had gone by— in essence just another year of growth and transformation.

January


  • Writing dramatic poetry, erupting from crevices so melancholic and loving.
  • Going for endless runs and swims ‘neath January’s rains and sun-kissed clouds.
  • Meeting up with my learners in the club.
  • Loading up on oranges and apples from the wholesale fruit market.
  • My mind acquainted with Taylor’s melodious ‘evermore’ tunes, inspiring the most treacherous visuals.
  • Starting the second term online and having tremendous fun on Zoom with backgrounds and nicknames.
  • Watching my learners create wondrous descriptive sentences that invoke the senses with wild imaginings.
  • Composing a song.
  • Connecting so deeply to Joumana, one of my learners, who had recorded me a thirteen-minute audio telling me why she loved me.
  • Inviting Mariam, my soulful friend, to conduct a global problem solving interview that inspired my learners.
  • Spending the sunrise with my companion on video calls, reiterating dreams and adding meaning to life.
  • The blackbirds’ first dawn chorus.
  • The mulberry trees little by little emerging in emerald green.
  • Collaborating with a friend of mine to use my poems in a video of hers.

February


  • Stealing morning walks before my online lessons to feel the glorious onset of spring.
  • Chasing spring; taking pictures of lingering daylight, sprouting leaflets and dandelions.
  • Writing more and more poetry inspired by love.
  • Collaborating with an online friend and sharing my poetry with the world.
  • Going on long swims under the rain and creating alliterating poems in my head.
  • School being in-person again, watching the connection between my learners and I unfold with so much respect and reverence.
  • Being enveloped by the feeling of missing someone special, feeling the pain of it so deeply that it would make me wince.
  • Asking God for a sign to meet my companion and finding it timely, and the world became much more alive to me.
  • Meeting my dearest companion in a garden for fleeting moments, the sun in my eyes, committing to a lifetime of acceptance and forgiveness.
  • Being consumed with the pain of love that transforms the soul.
  • Shattering our egos, accepting our nothingness and being nobody with one another— a door opens towards profound healing.
  • Experiencing annihilation.
  • My body shattering with an intense bout of fatigue that stopped me from getting up in the morning, after a week of transformative events.
  • Submitting my diploma's work with ease and equanimity.

March


  • The lively spring and blackbird songs.
  • Getting a call from a new school to conduct an interview without even applying.
  • Feeling like a failure in the demo, but being authentically truthful about it.
  • Inviting Hazem to a Global Problem Solver’s class and inspiring our learners with conversations and music.
  • Experiencing softness for the first time.
  • Being softened my love, and realising it was my path of healing all along.
  • Starting a “forgiveness only” ritual every Friday with my soulmate to forgive ourselves and one another.
  • Writing vividly.
  • Getting accepted for the new job at Ethos with a wonderful offer.
  • Reading “The Seat of the Soul” and books on education.

April


  • The beauty of silk floss trees, their grace and emerald-green halos.
  • Creating my first videos, documenting the beauty I perceive in special moments (especially the silk floss trees!)
  • Ramadan’s slowness and abundant time.
  • Having a difficult experience with my father, and forgiving him and my life.
  • Writing poetry.
  • Night-time Ramadan walks after iftar.
  • Feeling lighthearted while fasting.
  • Reading Gary Zukav’s work intensively.
  • Becoming a Cambridge-certified teacher, and being awarded a “Distinction”.
  • The beautiful clouds.
  • Devouring 'the cottage fairy' YouTube videos.

May


  • Making jasmine oil with an abundance of jasmines growing in my little pots.
  • Being inspired by airplanes.
  • Working online, having more time during the day to be creative and reflective.
  • Swimming at sun-up.
  • Meeting my dearest soulmate, and having magical experiences of transformation.
  • Watching my learners become extremely proficient.
  • Believing in omens (airplanes in my sky).
  • Rejecting the job offer at Ethos after asking for signs from God.
  • Writing, pouring my heart out, and feeling it explode with timeless reveries.
  • Last day in Ramadan, going out for a walk and having ice-creams.
  • Watermelons, peaches and apricots adorning my life in richness.
  • Being captivated by flamboyant flame tree blossoms.
  • Going on afternoon walks with my father and watching the sunset.
  • Dreaming of travelling.

June


  • Decorating my calendar.
  • Receiving heart-warming feedback from my learners and many messages of love and appreciation.
  • Helping out my professor in paraphrasing research.
  • Indulging in fruits.
  • The beauty of golden shower trees.
  • Creating videos about beautiful moments in my day.
  • Receiving gifts from my learners and feeling my heart break with insurmountable love.
  • Crying the way home after the last day of school.
  • The funny yet painful PCR test.
  • Witnessing the sunrise in the airplane and being flooded with light.
  • Berries.
  • Picking pine cones.
  • Being hugged by my sister and mother for the first time in two years.
  • The Polish summer solstice celebration with my sister.
  • Polish jasmine-picking in parks.

July


  • The long bicycle rides through the forests.
  • Making brownies.
  • Awakening my awareness through slowness.
  • Reading “Universal Human”.
  • Getting lost in a forest and finding the way home through God and the sun.
  • Painting and creating cards with dried flowers.
  • Ice creams with my sister.
  • Endless walks by the beach, getting inspired by sunshine.
  • Watching sunsets by the sea.
  • Playing badminton in the streets.
  • Outdoor 'gym' time with the 80s music 'blackbird n swiftie playlist vibes'.
  • Creating intentions for my twenty-third year.
  • Reading “The Secret Language of the Body” and learning more about holism.
  • Picking chamomiles and making tea.

August


  • Finding chrysanthemums everywhere.
  • Getting stuck in thunderstorms.
  • Painting more regularly.
  • Going to the mountains and all the serenity.
  • My sister’s birthday.
  • Creating a series of holistic-healing videos on my Instagram.
  • Staying strong, believing in effortlessness despite the tumultuous family situations.
  • The sunset in the airplane back home.
  • Going back to work again!

September



  • Decorating the classroom with the help of helpful kids who also do imperfect things.
  • Welcoming my new students.
  • The enormous behavioural challenges of the new academic year.
  • Feeling a little overwhelmed with all the things needed to be fixed.
  • The beautiful September sunlight at dawn.
  • Still, being loved by my learners despite my sense of failure.
  • The falling autumn leaves.
  • Planting sunflowers.

October


  • Getting ill multiple times from exhaustion.
  • My ego feeling hurt from all the failures and difficult processes.
  • Believing and having faith along my soulmate’s journey.
  • Guavas melting my woes.
  • Pommegranate rituals in the kitchen.
  • Learning lessons from birds.
  • Receiving supportive words from the parents of my learners.
  • Watching my sunflowers bloom decorously.

November


  • Melting into the light of God’s love.
  • Forgiving myself for failing.
  • Focusing on what I can do, instead of what I’m failing at.
  • Being vulnerable with my soulmate and healing in his supportive, guiding light.
  • Discovering Rudolf Steiner’s educational philosophies.
  • Sharing what I learn selflessly.
  • My wonderful assistant, Jana, working with me with full force to create wonderful experiences.
  • Enjoying the break time with my learners doing mindless, childish things.
  • Extracting seeds from sunflowers with my learners.
  • Going on a trip with my wonderful learners and having a beautiful time.
  • My soulmate finding the work he’d always wanted to do.
  • Receiving a heartwarming letter from Mariam. :’)

December

  • The “bunny” book club moments.
  • Reading, reading and reading.
  • Magical moments with my learners in class.
  • Reciting poetry with my learners and setting the school on fire.
  • Drying roses, filling my room with them.
  • Staying away from social media.
  • Writing a recommendation letter for Nour and hearing that she got accepted to the university of her dreams.
  • Magical, lovely moments with Jana in the roof midst the pots.
  • Connecting with teachers in my school (Samaa, Hazem and Ahmad).
  • The Enneagram project gaining scale after being buried for two years.
  • Creating a video for 2021.
  • Connecting with my inner child and melting my fears with love.
  • Writing this post. :’)

Alas, I turn the page towards new, lighthearted and childlike intentions. May 2022 be a year of growing love.
going with grace in an inscrutable world.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

airplane healing pains.

-
Image
An airplane signifies so many unknowns, so many variables, with a constant ‘ me ’. An anxious fear surges from the pit of my stomach, always questioning whether I’ll ever be strong enough to deal with the discomfort of newness. My breaths are sharp here, in the transition, heading towards the side of practical realms. I’m scared of what is left to heal to embrace my ideals. What if I’m not able to withstand the healing pains and sheddings? A few tears trickle by, summer stillness shedding, leaving me vulnerable and bare in the act itself. It’s endearing to witness and disconcerting to feel. Where will I be next summer? How would it be like to be a year older towards the person who has been gifted so many daylight dreams? I’m back to the solitude of my essence. The realisation that most of my journeying is done in darkness, pain and cycles— upon completion, they radiate a revealing light that serves and heals. But not before the transmutation, not before the healing, not before the ferv...
click to read

intentions of 2025: a foundational year.

-
Image
hello, 2025. I welcome you in my arms, receiving your brand new beginning where I can rewrite the story of my life path. here I am, a woman in so much need of something so terribly new so that I can forget everything about my past and start as someone new. yes, someone new. that is not a typo. there’s so much we need to change around here and I am onto it, make little baby steps as we slide into this year’s seasons. despite all that is there to change, I am grateful that the gift of visualising the year and crafting new intentions is not one of the things on my list. that could stay, along with creating vision boards for all of the beautiful dreams floating in the landscape of my heartful desires. I wish you could see my vision board. it involves a splash of watercolours, piano melodies, the dream of raising a kitten and starting my journey in gardening. also, a travelling spree to where there is a calling sea and perhaps, an umrah. my dreams are nascent, but their vibe are preparing m...
click to read

disappearing.

-
Image
what would happen if I disappeared for a few months, truly disappeared, and worked on internalising every beautiful, whimsical thought into my very being? what if after those few months I erupted like an everlasting blossom— glowing in peaceful reverence for life, withstanding the cruelty of paradoxes? what if I became seen, my body showing signs of a soul who has fallen in love with the humble ordinary, frolicking about the greenery with a sparkling smile that has forgotten what it’s like to fade? that is what I pray for. I pray to heal my body and heart that I truly forget what it was like to be in such pain. alas, it is earth, not heaven. still, I never cease to believe that heaven can be created on earth. I know that we as humans can transcend all futile suffering into an equanimous acceptance. my body holds so much pressure, fear and difficult memories, even if I don’t remember much of it in my mind. my body hurts, and I feel like I’m carrying mountains of fears I once felt, cripp...
click to read

forget-me-nots

-
Image
rare as forget-me-nots, found basking in the mellow light by creeks and solemn meadows, undiscovered, untempted to be of anything, of anywhere. still, they murmur a memory. the forget-me-not seeds I kept in my purse for years. their home was a garden where blackbirds and hoopoes dwelled— it was but a sacred dream. the dandelions whimper of all the wishes they keep secretly until a landing on golden grounds is sealed.   they’re wisps wrapped in silky touches of spring-air.   they talk to me. they’re not gone. poems.. songs. my broken sounds ‘neath apple boughs and midst a flower bed so serene. but I’ve let all my birds go never seeking their distant return. I’ve let them go as I let an old love die, taking me along with it. but they’re here now. my birds. my forget-me-nots, and sacred dreams.
click to read

October's summits.

-
Image
 I am going to try and be seriously strict with my monthly reflections. I remember how years ago, this was one ritual that allowed me to feel grounded and centred, committed to growing every time-bound journey. I daresay that getting myself into the habit of being introspectively eager in witnessing my development would do wonders for the strength of my soul. October was quite challenging, honestly. September was much more fleeting and beautifully filled with milestones. I was tempted and put into trials a few times, which made me feel undeniably exhausted to get back on track. yet reflections such as those sprout gratitude in me, making me realise that there had been seedlings of intentions all along. autumnal wonders it is my first time ever to witness an autumn in Europe, which is heavenly. of course, the gloomy days are ever so dark and sombre, but they are also lovely in their way of making me rejoice in glory the moment the sun comes up and reveals the stark beauty of all tho...
click to read