a daylight dream

I learned to stay strong in 2019. I learned to keep hope in my heart despite feeling my worst. I learned to say "I love you" when it felt right. I learned to forgive, accept, surrender and let go. My heart softened in 2019 with all of the challenges and hard times. My heart learned to cry and listen to sadness earnestly. My heart came back to life again. Thank you, dearest 2019. January Implementing a personal development project at school and watching it inspire everyone. Learning to rest and take care of myself after experiencing a severe burn out. Struggling with emptiness but never giving up on hope. Watching the mulberry trees sprout tiny little emerald leaves. Learning to reach success slowly, not all at once. Standing in front of 50-60 teachers telling them about my work for the very first time. Bus rides to school whilst the sunrise. Getting in touch with my soulmate after months of disconnection, talking about our fears, sadness and c...

The icy wings bellow from the south, and the sombre clouds come sweeping overhead, obscuring the gentle moonlight’s glow. I’ve woken up quite early today and the first sound I hear is that of the winds, and I realise how unbearably cold I am, my feet stoned and frozen and my body longing for warmth to hold. Yet, with those unsettling phenomena showcased before me, there is a love kindling in my heart. I cannot explain it nor even try to, but the corners of my little home are safe enough to protect me and all of a sudden, this feels intensively gratifying. I’ve learned that when gratitude greets the heart, it ought to be greeted back and held warmly, instead of questioned. December teaches me to go back to myself. All year, I try different roads and wear different costumes of different selves on the pathway towards my dreams. Perhaps, this year, I decided to be in charge, lead, raise my voice and conquer my insecurities in the name of becoming a leader. I have gone a lo...

We are lying on the grass in a still, icy, December morning. We do not talk but just lay there, synchronicity binding our hearts. We take the time to feel our eyes watching the crimson clouds turn more vibrant with every bit the sun takes towards our horizon, and my hands are cold, and I cannot feel my face. Yet, I’ve never felt so warm in your loving, all-encompassing arms. I don’t know why I chose you, dearest. I don’t know why I chose to love you and open my heart to you— tell you about my deepest flaws and insecurities, those weird anxieties and incomprehensible fears. I don’t know why I chose to hold your hand and bury my smiling face into your chest. All I can say is that you allowed me to love you despite everything else, which means the world. You told me to love you despite the distance, time and obstacles that might face us, and that was like giving me the sun in my hands, and I don’t know what to do with this ever-illuminating glow. I have always wanted this. I ...

Good morning dearest ones! I am writing this to you on an icy morning on my way to school and I realised that it’s been quite a lengthy time without posting anything on this blog, which is quite saddening. I do love writing but I pulled myself away from it deliberately the last couple of weeks in order to discover the purpose behind it all. So, how has it been? I had had a great time, perhaps quite immersed in university-work, but I managed, thankfully. Even though my day was packed, I did manifest abundance to my time and it always felt quite enough. That was very reassuring indeed. Why didn’t I write? Hmm, most probably, it’s because my soul was not introspective enough. In university and school, I am constantly putting myself out there, outside of my comfort zone, acting like an enthusiastic leader, sending off sparks of passion and energy. I’ve had so much energy to release with my work and the kind of conversations that I have with others. I was acting like an ext...