Enrapturing Highlights of 2018.

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What a wonderful, fulfilling year it had been; adorned by growth and enlightenment with every passing day, although scarred by mistakes and little failures. 2018 is perhaps far by one of the most beautiful years of my life, in which I realised all of the goals I had set for myself and learned more about love; a beautiful soulful love that is unconditional and undemanding. I am so blessed so have lived this year.

Here are the most beautiful moments of 2018, listed month by month.

January

  • Writing letters to a soulmate of mine, in which we discussed fields of dreams and the truth of love.
  • Giving private English lessons, which was a totally new experience.
  • The arrival of spring! I won’t ever forget that day; watching the green leaves sprout delicately and the blossoms rupturing from their calyxes. (31.01.2018)
  • Reading books.
  • Discovering music that evoked the poetry in me.
  • Wonderful weather; rain and clarity.
  • Wandering around Egypt; going to the Pyramids, the museum and citadel.

February

  • The weather getting warmer and watching spring in action, as well as listening to the first chorus of the blackbirds for the year in the morning.
  • Meeting my soulmate quite magically, unintentionally, and realising the power of intuition. (26.02.2018)
  • Having more work responsibilities at school.
  • Making mistakes while teaching but somehow trying to learn from them along the way.
  • Starting my poetry book.
  • Getting quite good grades in my finals, and accepting the fact that I didn’t really ace them.

March

  • The flowers blossoming like never before, especially the peach ones.
  • Watching the mulberry trees sprouting in wild emeralds, as well as the towering silk floss trees adorning the realm in red flowers.
  • Saying “good morning” to everyone around me more often, and making others smile.
  • Starting the student council at school and watching it make the students feel better by meeting and talking about their concerns.
  • Blowing dandelions and making wishes.
  • Watching the sun rise rather richly, with peachy skies lined with airplanes.

April

  • Feeling overwhelmed by how much the world needs to change but then realising that I can embody this change within me, and nothing else should matter.
  • Discovering the enneagram.
  • Meeting another beautiful friend of mine, and talking about success, comfort zones and being uniquely good enough.
  • Making summer travel plans and feeling expectant and rewarded.
  • Feeling pressured by having different ideologies and being affected by others’ opinions, but slowly breaking free and learning to be more emotionally stable and confident.
  • Meeting another soulmate of mine in a garden on a dreary overcast day, accompanied by a guitar.
  • Writing songs.
  • Believing in daylight dreams; making each day one that leads to some unearthly ideals of mine.
  • Eating mulberries from the trees in the streets after morning runs.
  • Having a barbecue; a ritual at that time of the year.

May

  • Writing out a script for the school assembly and helping out in the rehearsals.
  • Getting closer to students, allowing me to feel more willing to become a teacher.
  • Flame trees erupting in red, adorning the balcony view beautifully.
  • Bonding with the teachers at school and appreciating how much I have learned from them.
  • Finally staying at home to study for my exams and having more time for sports.
  • Ramadan iftar moments and the bliss they gave me, feeling as light as a soul while fasting.
  • Having long walks underneath the moonlight after iftar.
  • Waking up at 6 am to go for swimming as the sun still laid low in the sky, cooling the breeze.
  • Writing more songs and poetry.
  • Deciding to homeschool myself and learn sociology all alone.

June

  • Travel plans making me feel excited and joyful, happy to see my sister and mother after so long.
  • Taking some time to be distant.
  • Grape-love.
  • Eating watermelons in the balcony with its skin because I’m weird health-freak, alongside my dad, making ourselves really happy (and sticky from watermelon juice).
  • Taking care of our little garden and watching it get greener and greener.
  • Staying strong and positive despite the tribulations that occurred, always trying to find solutions.
  • Finishing my poetry book.
  • Airplane rides and watching the sun rise, feeling at home at the airport of Charles De Gaulle.
  • Finally seeing my sister and hugging her tight, singing to her lullabies before she slept.
  • Watching the strawberry moon.

July

  • Endless laughter with my sister.
  • Travelling to the seasides after so long and letting the waves calm me down.
  • Riding the ferry boat for the first time.
  • Running by the shore in the pouring rain.
  • A road trip to Berlin, planned by me.
  • Roaming around the beach towns; casually crossing borders to Germany, and loving the city called Ahlbeck which truly inspired me by the songs sung on the streets.
  • Travelling to Copenhagen and Malmo by a ferry on my birthday.
  • Leaving my comfort zone for good.
  • A wonderful birthday gift from the sun, making me watch it rise on the Baltic Sea.
  • Receiving heart-warming birthday wishes from my loved ones.
  • Ballet classes.
  • Spending the night watching Mars, Venus, Jupiter and Saturn make appearances in the sky.
  • Going for horse-riding in the moors by the wheat fields.

August

  • Watching the autumn drift by and change the atmosphere with hostile winds, enormous clouds and wilting trees.
  • Staying up for the lunar eclipse.
  • Making wishes on the meteor shower night; discussing the beauty of God and the universe with my sister as the stars burn in the atmosphere.
  • Going for ice skating.
  • Family problems but staying patient.
  • Not trusting my intuition but learning how important it is.
  • Hiking and climbing mountains, connecting to nature.
  • A road trip to Dresden, also planned entirely by me, and watching an open-air orchestra.
  • Casually writing a song on the piano for the first time (for my soulmate's birthday).
  • Crying and breaking down for days and days.
  • Airplanes back (home) at dawn.
  • Reading ‘The Power Of Now’ and feeling enlightened.

September

  • Going back to work and combatting my fears of showing up.
  • Reading on the long bus rides back home.
  • Connecting to an old friend.
  • Creating routines to distract myself from feeling alone and empty, being busy and passionately immersed at work, finding new ways to be a better teacher and taking risks.
  • Igniting a love that was always there, but learning to make decisions after balancing my mind and heart’s voices.

October

  • Blossoming silk floss trees, watching them on my morning walks.
  • Writing more and more poetry.
  • Working hard, reaching perfection.
  • Making many many mistakes and feeling tormented by them, feeling not good enough, then realising that it always passes, and we all improve in the very end.
  • Stepping out of my comfort zone almost everyday.
  • Brainstorming and creating a plan for my first project at the school I work in— creating another daylight dream.
  • Listening to podcasts and feeling inspired by them to create a difference.
  • A hope of changing my life a little.

November

  • Feeling disappointed as opportunities to add change in my life kind of fade away.
  • Learning to speak up and be more transparent and honest.
  • Learning to accept my mistakes and failures, realising that they will surely help me grow.
  • Learning to be a leader through my very first project with the students at school.
  • Starting a training course that aims at making learning a lifestyle, rather than an academic purpose for students, and to empower them to solve their own problems as they learn.
  • Reading research papers and applying metacognition in my work.
  • Beautiful sunrises and clouds.
  • Family life changes.
  • Having so much to do yet making time for almost everything (well, perhaps except for myself).
  • Reading books.

December

  • Gaining authority from the students to give them orders and accepting my power for the first time in my life.
  • Students inspiring me to continue writing my novel.
  • Working on my project, being determined to make it a success.
  • Beautiful mornings with the sun shining amid the darkness.
  • Star ‘syrma’ adorning the dawn sky.
  • Listening to the blackbirds sing at break of dawn for the first time since summer.
  • Feeling exhausted and lonely. Embracing sadness. Longing for love in my life.
  • Inspiring other teachers with my work in the training course.
  • Trying my best not to change despite feeling not worthy and not good enough. Trying my best to love myself despite everything that convinces me not to.

Thank you, 2018, and goodbye.

Enter new intentions.

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