it kills me.

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your eyes, I swear, are an infinite gateway. so dark, so brown, so beautiful. you avoid my gaze most of the time but when the magnetic pull between us leaves us in the middle of something vast, something I can’t really fathom enough to leave.

it kills me— your calmness. it kills me how you only talk of things of the mind when we’re together. I smile and lapse into silence, delirious, chasing my own tails trying to get to you. you’re impenetrable. stone-high walls that I know how to shatter. only me.


it kills me how you don’t leave me a chance to. all I need is that little crack in your chest to break open your heart and let it flood with waters of helplessness and surrender. that’s where home is, dearest. the softest part of you. the childlike disbelief that all this love is so near an embrace.


your courtesy, throw it away when you’re with me. show me your wildest side. show me your sting. show me your everything. I’ll know how. 


it kills me that I have a lifetime to get to every part of you. a mysterious notebook is all we got— little moments that tear this world apart. our I love you a hidden jewel from the very start.

going with grace in an inscrutable world.

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