the truth is beyond anything..

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استغفر الله العظيم من كل تدبير و من كل ظن استودعته بلا تسليم.. و من كل معرفة عرفتها إياك.. و من كل حب بلا اشتياق.. 


"The gifts are not where to land. This is a spaceless journey. It is bewildering to live like this— infinitely traversing. As much as we may have desired our dreams, and now that they’re here, one may dwell in that desired space. But that’s not why we’re here..


Love sees beyond the gift. It touches essence itself until it sees nothing again."


- may 2022


it felt like this five years ago. dizzying. swept in place, I went on with life. the ache of being emptied from all reasons tied to love, the ache of knowing but not knowing, the ache of dying in nothingness before the divine, sacred truth, the ache of longing laced in surrender.. the ache of knowing love again and again and again..


but out of this ache oozed the sweetest brokenness, the sweetness of an ethereal love that sees Him. again, every doing is taken away from myself. all reasons to hold on to. all paths to take. all steps written in the books of what’s righteous. all dissolves to His will.


I am numbed, my gaze longer and more serene. I see You. I see not to resist. an equanimous grieving so beautiful, so painful, so otherworldly.. one does not even want to see anything.


this is beyond anything these hands can do.. this is a sacred path of miracles. it’s best to let it be in surrender: untouched, unscathed, His secret.


love, stay.. meet me in truth until the foreordained. 


my truth? only glimpses of it I see.. but an enormity of selfless service in the name of love, in the name of touching hearts and a sleepless heart in longing. 


take this also. take this heart’s gaze to the world. leave me with the secret of your infinitude. and I know it’s there that timelessly, I see you.

going with grace in an inscrutable world.

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