an innermost silence.

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أَفَرَأَيْتَ مَنِ اتَّخَذَ إِلَهَهُ هَوَاهُ وَأَضَلَّهُ اللَّهُ عَلَى عِلْمٍ وَخَتَمَ عَلَى سَمْعِهِ وَقَلْبِهِ وَجَعَلَ عَلَى بَصَرِهِ غِشَاوَةً فَمَنْ يَهْدِيهِ مِنْ بَعْدِ اللَّهِ أَفَلَا تَذَكَّرُونَ


this heart longs for silence— the stillness in between the waves. it surrenders to the knowing that afterwards comes the silence of one’s soul, the one that manifests before the enormity of love. the silence of melting into your beloved— a glimpse of home, the darkness around a speck of truth.


I’m so broken, my Beloved. I’ve forgotten your words in me. how come I’ve seen myself all this time.. how come my compass was not pointed towards the truth.


basking in forgiveness, your mercy divides in me— streams. 


لا إله إلا الله..


it is an invocation like never before. the forgiveness of a worship clouded by the dominion of illusory veils. and I love these veils for making it possible to see and hear You.. 


I melt into You. this self in me was always Yours. in this smallness, it is unbearable to receive. but my Beloved, Your limitless mercy softens the pain.


may every beam of light reminds me of a truer worship..

going with grace in an inscrutable world.

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