Why Do I Share?

Perhaps the nefarious southern winds are blowing much more than the wilted lemon and mulberry trees today, for they are blowing my spark out just the same. I woke up with a neglected kind of heart this morning, my spirit trying to become the mothership, but the waves that have awakened are far too agitated to let it lead smoothly.

It is also the conversations I had earlier with people around me that leave me wondering about certain things in our world. Last night, I had this vast emptiness within me; I knew it was only the unstable weather and lack of enthusiasm as the term is coming to an end. I felt this need for warmth and connection, but I was in my room, and it is not that kind of connection that is quenched by grabbing the phone and starting a conversation. It was the inscrutable need for a gentle embrace or a soft gaze that melts all the bitter, tough parts away. But since I didn’t have that, I turned to watch something on the internet that would soften those edges of aloneness.

Upon that, I realised how the world shares content so vigorously. Endless clips that one could relate to are so relentlessly available; still, they are unsatisfactory. The aggressive tide that makes people want to share things makes us all consumers somehow, and even though it makes us less alone temporarily, but it still leaves us unbearably isolated.

I slept that night wondering how beautiful it would be to have a warm human connection that is ordinary, real and near that is also not reachable through a screen. Just a step outside, perhaps, or just across the road. We are such eloquent beings with a severe need to connect and be together (also alone for a while), but it is not always the same through a screen or a clip on some website.

I dream of a life where people who care for each other and are nearer than now, where I can knock on a neighbour’s door and feel at home ever so gently, being taken in by adults and children— just people who are not changed by cinematic effects and background music. I know that cinema has its wondrous and enchanting effect but, we have had enough of it, right? We have been sharing too much, but we have an abundance of warmth and connection in the present moment, just the same.

That night is over, and I don’t feel so alone anymore, since I was embraced by people I love today. Somehow, the softness has returned to me, and it even shows in more than just my inner world.

Togetherness is such an endearing thing, and just like the trees that share their life so effortlessly, without being potentially great at anything, it is what I wish to share.