a daylight dream

As I write this, I’m not sure who I am anymore. Even the nails on my hands make me look like a completely different person, for I haven’t bitten them for such a long time. I don’t think it is change that can describe this experience— rather the movement towards one’s inner truth. The path towards authenticity and all the love that is there to give makes all else shed and whither. So, I’m lighter, and  I’m at home. My intention for June was simply  belonging . I didn’t know what it meant when I wrote it down last December, but my soul spoke for me, nudging me towards finding out what true belonging meant. I always worked hard to belong somewhere: a country, city, workplace, etc. At least, I wanted to know where it was in the world that I felt at home. Travelling always made me feel the exhilaration that came with trying to find that one place that made everything flood with meaning and love. Yet, June came and showered me with a beautiful, soulful revelation: I belong whenever ...

  I can't believe I'm writing this. Goodness, what a year! I've seen miracles before, but not this way, not in that magnitude, in that quality and quantity. I adore this post idea, and I'm quite galvanized to keep writing it every single year. I imagine myself writing " Twenty Years A Teacher ". I wonder how it would be like then. Oh, my heart shakes at the possibilities awaiting this beautiful unfolding. I'm writing this after I had celebrated the end of year ceremony and witnessed a learner crying when she received the grade of her dreams. Those children, they break my heart each time I see them. I started this year being quite awful at hugging people, getting all awkward whenever I had to be intimate. It's the last day today and I can't recognise myself as I rushed and hugged them all so lovingly. I didn't recognise myself when I smiled in pictures even though I'm quite insecure about being in photographs. I can't recognise myself at...

I have only a few days left here, and I’m not sure how it is all unfolding so swiftly, yet in the perfect time. I can’t believe I’m travelling this summer to see my family— especially after all the hope that was lost, after all the pain of cutting the strings of attachments and expectations; that lifeshould go a certain way.  Reflecting upon this process, I remember myself last June. Those very days, last year, were truly painful. I had lost touch with my creativity and any perspective, and so everyday was the same. I had lost touch with the goodness of my soul that everything beautiful existed outside of me— and so I had to keep chasing and working hard for it. That course, that book, that international conference, that job interview, that demo— all was out of reach and I had to search outside of myself to make it work. Oh, I was lost. I lost myself to petty climbs when all was within all along. I look at myself, today, having lost myself to my soul. My soul that sees abundance an...