Diminishing Moons.

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Ramadan lights. :)

The full moon is already getting smaller day by day, signalling the end of the month of Ramadan. This phenomena is inspiring so many count downs these days, at least personally. How much time do I have left to finish my exams? To travel? To come back? And start the cycle all over again.

Count downs are rather thrilling, but they waste the time I should spend doing something more worthwhile. I'm that kind of person who fantasises and fills her head up with so many day dreams when expectant and hopeful; I allow so much emotion to embrace my soul and keep me happy although I'm fully aware of how unrealistic these expectations are, and they almost never get fulfilled unless I reflect.

Reflections are a beyond splendid method for me to basically believe in magic; just sitting back and recollecting events that had happened in the past gives me a spellbinding satisfaction since I just add emotions to adorn the situations, based on my ideals. In my reflections, life is a fairytale in which I can see all the plot twists make perfect sense. I might not notice that in reality, but in those blog posts, letters/emails to my friends and journal entries, life makes meaning and it enthrals me. I'm also that kind of person who allows those lessons behind each reflection to leave a positive imprint on my identity, and it's something I'm proud of. Indeed, I haven't been put in the situation to apply those lessons but I'm trying everyday. I'm keen on developing myself to enrich my soul and perspective. You know that Myers-Briggs test? I'm an INFJ, so I'm inclined to actually DO things rather than just dream of them, much to my disbelief. I thought I was a mere interpreter and dreamer in this world, but I realised that I've got the power to actually act and I know I will, someday. 

I have so many idealistic dreams, even in the short-term. Many of them are inapplicable to how things actually work out. It disappoints me to keep changing the scheme of my goals to fit who I really am today, rather than who I aim to be. Things change tremendously and it's rather overwhelming, but I'm holding on to all of the positive energy in the world. Intuitively, I know I'm on the right track. I know I've chosen something rather mainstream in my life, career-wise, but I'm sure I'll be able to do something. Something small, yet so encouraging and transforming, even if it is imprinting a fleeting smile, or engraving a positive affirmation.. it's possible.

One cannot have anything in this life, but in my reflections, I do possess a lot in terms of hope and positivity. The negativity and pain I'm exposed to every single day is nothing but a reminder to see the contrast between their view of the world and the one I behold. I'm forever grateful that there are things in this world we do not have to own, like love for example. Love is something we can give boundlessly when we want to, and nothing can stop us. That is why, I keep it safe in my heart for the correct timing, for those who deserve it wholly. 

I'm sure the reflections I shall conjure up for the past week shall lift me up, that's why sadness is something I cherish, though I think I take it too seriously sometimes. But well, I was never able to control my emotions so intelligently, I let them free, like the tide in a moonlit night.

Comments

  1. Haphazard Evolution16/06/2017, 11:37

    I love how deep and thoughtful your post are all the time. I am sure that as a teacher you can have a great impact, too. Not only on the students' lives. I am an INFJ too by the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Soraya16/06/2017, 13:46

      Your comment brightened up my day! I really do hope so.. and perhaps you shall leave an impact on your patients not only by healing them, but giving them the chance to be listened and understood. The worst thing about disease is that, no one understands how it feels and by being a doctor, it would be amazing for them to put yourself in their place. High five! I was so excited to find out that I'm an INFJ.. think of changing the world!?

      Delete
    2. Haphazard Evolution17/06/2017, 14:39

      Yes I hope that I will be someone who empathizes enough with patients later on. Sure, changing the world around me as best as I can..:)

      Delete

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