Life.
I've heard and read more than a million definitions for life, but I refuse to believe them as definitions while they are merely perceptions; vivid, deep observations of different human minds. Life is beyond us and I think we won't be able to define it accurately for those who experienced what life is not are either unborn or dead, so we will never reach a full picture of what life is, and we cannot therefore compare it with other forms of existence.
Back to the point. I was raised to believe that life is hard and that it takes to be strict, firm and non-resilient to be able to live it right. As a girl, I believed it and developed a fear from life, but inside there was always this courage that made me want to prove this perception wrong. I hated the thought of it, I detested waiting for life to be difficult to bear. It gets difficult for everyone, but it does not remain so if you are willing to let the ease surpass its dimensions.
Growing up, I saw the ones around me get tackled by weird situations; death, loss of identity, self-hate, love, tragedy, joy and so on. I saw everyone go through these incidents, learning from them, becoming the outcome. Some turned bitter, some defeated the perplexity of those situations and became tough and unbreakable, some just got lost in between and never found their way back on track, back to the place where they can view things objectively. And now as we all leave our teenage years behind, I see us all developing attitudes towards life. I have done so, too, and I'm pretty proud of my attitude, and life will always attempt to develop it for me, and I shall let it do so with ease.
I think life was meant for souls, not just humane ones. I think life was made for our souls to get scathed and hurt and burned by the perplexities, the uncertainties and the evilness everywhere. But I also have faith that life will give us opportunities to let those impurities go, omens will appear out of nowhere just to let your ego be proven wrong, it will make your mind sharp and aware of what you've been attached to. I've been attached to loads of stuff, I was bound by feelings, voices and assumptions that reigned my soul towards my life purpose. But I'm human and I misunderstand things sometimes, and I do not always receive guidance about the choices I make. Personally, I was tied to perfectionism in all its dimensions. I wanted to have a perfect body, an ideal personality and a conscience so grateful at the end of each day. However, I received my omen, and it just stared at me face-to-face. I had to something about it, I was staking all of my blessings in order to be tied to that idealist perspective. I had to let it go. There was no choice; it was either watching my life break down in front of me with a comfortable ego, or suffer in pursue of harmony and balance. I made my decision, and it took a long time until I reached the state I am in today. It wasn't easy, it was full of relapses and vulnerable moments. It's actually easier to describe than feel the battle of letting things go. But that's when I understood what life holds for me. Life will always chase my attachments and will give me omens to be free. Life is only a journey to purify our souls that have been lamented by all the injustice and sorrows we have been experiencing. Life is only a road that will attempt to make our souls clearer, purer until we reach the end of time, to enter eternity in presence of God's deity. Souls have a right to live. We were born to experience this struggle, to realise the pathways we must make in order to reach our place. I think it is our duty to allow our souls to reach where they truly belong; an infinite place of peace.
Yes. That's what I believe life is, at least for me. I want to live to make this journey possible, I want to die knowing that I've take the omens seriously and have allowed my soul to meet its creator in peace, in an infinite latitude of clairvoyance. I will trust my intuition and my own identity, and leave those voices, those attachments behind in the right time. Life is getting difficult for sure, because there is so much for me to do here. There's so much to achieve, so many tyrants to reform. I want to be in the fittest form to do that. I won't let those earthly attachments get to me, because in the end, I want to be attached to life as long as I dwell, and in that resides my purpose, my passions and my dreams.
Soraya.
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